If at any point crossing paths with me, we've gotten into a deep conversation, you have most likely heard me talk about identity and who we are in Christ.
I talk and think about this a lot because I think it is central to being a christian; central to functioning and living in this world.
You may not know this about me but, when I was younger I was shy. I was very timid, insecure, lost. I didn't know who I was and didn't believe I was good at anything. I spent most of my young life not very confident in myself. I didn't think I was smart. I just plain and simply didn't have any confidence in myself.
I was a nobody it. I longed to be important just as I think we all do but I didn't believe I was. I tried to identify with things and people but I never felt like I fit in. I spent a lot of time searching and trying to fit in. I looked for significance in many places. Some places were "ok" but some places and some ways I looked for significance were sinful.
Then something happened. Something that can only be described as a transformation. Not transformation as in I accepted Christ. It was more so like, "because I began to understand more of who Christ is and began to seek Him more, I was able to see who I really am; who we are."
As I began to understand who I am my outlook on life, me, other people, God, the world; it all changed!!!!
I realized that I'm a CHILD OF THE MOSTEST HIGHEST GOD!!!!! I AM IN CHRIST AND CHRIST IS IN ME!!! I AM IMPORTANT and more importantly I AM IMPORTANT TO GOD!!!
I began to experience joy live with new-found purpose. I began to pray that God would use me. I realized, "I am just as capable of being used by God as Moses, Abraham, Elijah, and David. Capable of doing so much of the same stuff they did. Capable of the same stuff Paul and the apostles did."
I realized that God wasn't looking for me to be able. God was and is looking for me to be available. Everyday, I would pray "Hear I am LORD, Use Me!!!!"
That was my prayer!! "GOD use Me!!!"
I became funny. People were drawn to me. People would ask me for advice. I literally saw God using me to draw people closer to HIM and quite frankly I still see it.
I say this without a shred of arrogance. I merely speak out of experience and humble awe at GOD's power and how it transforms. I remember having a conversation with someone about a situation that was weighing on them emotionally. I said in sort of a nonchalant way that this person should not worry but put it in GOD's hands. This person got annoyed with me and said, "Well you
would say something like that because you seem like you get everything you ask for from GOD. Some of us aren't so lucky. We don't have that kind of relationship with GOD."
I was a little taken aback by the comment for two reasons. First, I got a sense of faithlessness in GOD. Secondly, as I would later sit back and reflect on with a smile, it was almost as if this person was saying that I was like the favorite in the family of GOD. The smile came because I remember praying that GOD would give me favor!!!!
I say this all because I long since have gotten the impression that there is something more to us as christians, something more to this christian life than what has been taught. I don't necessarily believe that we've been held out of something purposefully. But I think that somewhere along the line the actual gospel has perhaps been lost in translation and that there is something more for us to grasp on to. Another level perhaps. I'm not about the health and wealth gospel and I'm not a person who thinks GOD is here to serve me. But I do believe we've been given, more power and have more influence than we know. As if we were children from another dimension. If this is true then why haven't we accessed it? How do we get access?
To be blogged about in the near future.
