My So Called Life

Ok!!! What's the deal? How in the world is life soo difficult? How in the world do people live 30, 40, 50, even 100 years with life as difficult as it seems to be right now for me? Life really sucks right now for me. Here you think you're doing things right. You think you've been doing things right for a while. You think you've got some things figured out. You even give other people advice on their lives. But then BAM!!!! It hits you. You've spent all of your time helping others out that you don't realize how bad you need help. And maybe bad things hit you in spurts. But it's often times more like waves!!!!
What in the world is the deal here? I just want to scream!!!! As you can probably tell from my last few blogs, life is tough for me right now. And for the first time I will plainly admit that I am at a lost of what to do.
So I've been living in a town that is not my hometown while going to college for the last few years right. And I've been doing sort of ok financially but I could be doing better. Over the past few years things have gotten gradually worse for me. I don't really know what I was thinking but maybe I was thinking that "God would provide" (maybe by dropping off a pile of money, I don't know).
Well as you can guess it hasn't worked out that way. And now I'm struggling. My parents all the while I've been struggling have been preaching at me to move back home and go to school locally. I didn't want to do that so I chose to stay, all the while things are getting worse. Now things essentially are out of my hands. I hate life!! I feel like I'm not really living life. I feel like life is living me. Is life always like this? I certainly hope now!!